March 15 | Julius Caesar

July 13, 100 BCE - March 15, 44 BCE: Age 55

Which death is preferable to every other? "The unexpected".

On his way to study rhetoric in Rhodes, at the age of 24, Gaius Julius Caesar was captured by pirates. When the pirates asked his family for a ransom of 20 talents of gold, Caesar was insulted and insisted that they demand 50. He had good reason for this.

His patrician family had been humiliated in the recent civil war between his uncle Marius and Sulla, who won. Caesar himself had escaped death during the purges of Sulla's enemies only through the intervention of his mother's family, who included a number of Sulla's supporters. Instead Caesar was stripped of all offices, relieved of all his money and possessions, and forced to go into hiding. On his return to Rome after Sulla's death, he had to borrow money to buy a cheap house in a poor part of Rome and practice as a lawyer for his living. His oratory was famous, and it was in an effort to build his talent and thus rebuild his family's political fortunes that he was on his way to Rhodes. In the matter of his ransom, he knew that a bigger ransom would be better for the family's reputation.

During his captivity, he maintained a superior attitude toward the pirates, informing them that once he was released he would crucify them all. They treated it as a joke but, as we all know, Caesar was no ordinary man. Upon payment of the ransom and his release, he raised a fleet, captured the pirates, and turned them over to the government of Asia for execution. When the governor refused to kill them, preferring to sell them as slaves, he recaptured them and crucified them himself.

Few readers will be ignorant of the subsequent trajectory of his career. Oratory was not the only skill needed to succeed in politics: one needed a great deal of cunning, flexible morals, spotless personal reputation, good family connections, charisma, military prowess, and luck. Caesar had all those qualities in abundance. He rose to become the most powerful man in Rome. He appealed to the ordinary electorate and the armies for his support: this made him the enemy of those who favoured aristocratic rule.

Eventually his enemies mustered enough organization and secrecy to hatch a successful assassination plot. A group of them called him him to the Senate to hear a petition. As he began to read it, one man pulled down Caesar's tunic. Then a man named Casca produced a knife from his toga and stabbed at Caesar's neck. Caesar caught his arm before the blow could fall, saying "Casca, you villain, what are you doing?" Casca shouted "Help, brother", and the entire group, including Brutus, started stabbing at Caesar. Caesar tried to get away but tripped and fell. According to one source around 60 men participated in the assassination; when his body was examined it was revealed he had been stabbed 23 times. Only one of the blows, one near his heart, was fatal.

Did he say "Et tu, Brute?", Shakespeare's famous line? Undoubtedly not, however Suetonius reports he said "Kai su, teknon?" which means "You too, my child". Plutarch, however, states that he said nothing, simply pulling his toga over his head when he saw Brutus among the conspirators.

After the assassination, Brutus stepped forward as if to say something to his fellow senators, but they all ran from the building. The conspirators then marched through the streets, crying out "People of Rome, we are once again free!" People of Rome, for their part, locked themselves in their houses and waited to see what would happen.

Ironically the assassination itself, an attempt to save the Republic from the tyranny of dictatorship, actually ended the Republic. The lower and middle classes were enraged at the murder, as Caesar was extremely popular, and the conspirators were forced into exile. Octavian, Caesar's grand-nephew, emerged after 13 years of political confusion as the sole master of Rome, eventually becoming the Emperor Augustus and ending the Republic forever.

Source: Wikipedia

Ecce Homo! | Pontius Pilate

Pontius Pilate as Prefect of Judaea at the time of Christ's death. As such his job would have been to collect taxes, put down rebellions, and help out with some judicial functions. Most of the civil government would have been in the hands of the local communities. The Jewish historian Josephus, who was born not long after Christ died, writes about Pilate:

On one occasion, when the soldiers under his command came to Jerusalem, he made them bring their ensigns with them, upon which were the usual images of the emperor. Roman battle standards were considered idolatrous by the Jews. The ensigns were brought in secretly by night, but their presence was soon discovered. Immediately multitudes of excited Jews rushed to Caesarea to petition him for the removal of the obnoxious ensigns. He ignored them for five days, but the next day he admitted the Jews to hear their complaint. He had them surrounded with soldiers and threatened them with instant death unless they ceased to trouble him with the matter. The Jews then threw themselves to the ground and bared their necks, declaring that they preferred death to the violation of their laws. Pilate, unwilling to kill so many, succumbed and removed the ensigns.

There was no physical evidence of Pilate's existence until 1961, when an excavation of an amphitheatre uncovered a block of limestone with a carved inscription dedicted by Pilate to the Emperor Tiberias. (The painting above was created by Giotto in the early 14th century.)

But there are stories, of course; many stories. It is certain that he was prefect when Christ died. There is no particular reason to disbelieve the gospels which, although written long after Jesus died, present a credible story. Jesus was brought to Pilate by the Jewish judiciary, who don't seem to have quite known what to do with him. Jesus was saying things that they considered blasphemous. The accused him of sedition in front of Pilate, saying he opposed paying taxes and called himself a king. Pilate's question to Jesus was, "Are you the king of the Jews?" Jesus' reply is recorded in Greek as being «σὺ λέγεις» which is generally translated as "It is as you say" (King James version) but literally means "you say". There is lots of debate about what he meant by that, assuming it's an actual quote. Our earliest written source is the Gospel of Mark, which (so far as we know) was first written more than 30 years after the fact.

John, characteristically, provides more colour. According to his gospel Jesus said, "You say rightly that I am a king. For this cause I was born, and for this cause I have come into the world, that I should bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice." Pilate's response is one that resonates strongly with the postmodern sensibility: "What is truth?"

The gospels report that Jewish tradition provided for the release of one prisoner at the time of Passover. He put it to the mob (who seem to have been conveniently waiting outside his window), presenting Jesus to them ("Ecce homo") and giving them a choice between Jesus and a guy named Barrabas. Coached by Jesus' enemies, they demanded the release of Barabbas. Pilate is presented as being reluctant to condemn Jesus, because he couldn't see what all the fuss was about. The final, famous moment arrives when, in the gospel of Matthew, Pilate "took water and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, 'I am innocent of the blood of this just person. You see to it.'"

Naturally the question of what Pilate was actually like, what he himself thought of the situation, how he might regard his posthumous reputation, all these are fertile ground for the imagination. And many imaginations have worked on it. According to Eastern Orthodox tradition, he did everything he could to release Jesus and thus should not be blamed. The Ethiopian Church even recognized him as a saint in the 6th century.

Traditional tales relate that Pilate suffered dramatic career setbacks under Caligula and retired to Vienne in France (Gaul), where he committed suicide. There is not a shred of real evidence of this. Folklore continues the story, however; it is said when he died his body was thrown into the Tiber (nowhere near France) but the river was disturbed by evil spirits and rejected him. So they (who?) took his body to Vienne where they threw it in the Rhone, which also wouldn't have him. Finally it was sunk in the lake at Lausanne or, some say, "a deep and lonely mountain tarn" overlooking Lucerne. Every Good Friday the body re-emerges from the waters and washes it hands.

I cannot resist the opportunity for a reference to Monty Python. YouTube has a segment from Life of Brian, where Pilate asks the mob which prisoner to release, but Pilate, as conceived by Michael Palin, has a speech impediment. Hilarity ensues.

Sources: Wikipedia, King James Bible

March 11 | Julia Soaemias

180 - March 11, 222: Age 42

Julia Soaemias Bassiana ruled the Roman Empire for four years through her son Elagabalus, who was 15 when he ascended the throne. She was born and raised in Syria, and was related to the Emperor Septimus Severus by marriage, as well as being a cousin of the Emperor Caracalla. When Caracalla was killed and replaced by Macrinus, she shrewdly began spreading rumours that her son Elagabalus was actually the illegitimate son of Caracalla. Macrinus' enemies were happy to use the news as an excuse to kill Macrinus, and the teenaged Elagabalus was put in his place.

Julia ruled Rome while Elagabalus occupied himself with mysticism and sexual explorations (what better occupation for a 15-year-old?). Bearing in mind that they were unpopular and thus historians were not kind to them, it has come down that he used to wear makeup and wigs pretend to be a prostitue, standing nude at the door of a particular room in the palace, shaking a curtain that hung from gold rings, soliciting sex with dirty comments. He is said to have offered vast sums of money to the doctor who could equip him with a vagina.

The powers behind the throne realized that the army were not going to tolerate this for long. When the Praetorian Guard rioted, Elagabalus tried to hide but was caught. Julia was with him and they were both killed, Julia embracing her son tightly. Their heads were cut off and their bodies stripped and dragged through the streets.

Source: Wikipedia

January 15 | Galba

December 24, 3 BC – January 15, 69: age 70

Nobody liked Galba. He succeeded Nero as Emperor of Rome, primarily by dint of showing up in Rome with an army shortly after Nero's death. There was a considerable anti-Nero faction that called for Galba to become emperor, and forced Nero to commit suicide, but it was Galba's arrival at the crucial time that made all the difference.

Unfortunately for Galba, he inherited a huge mess, and politicians who inherit messes are almost always unpopular, regardless of how relieved people are to get rid of the incumbent (US presidential candidates take note). Galba's first priority was to try to restore order to the imperial finances, and he managed to make himself extremely unpopular in the process. It didn't help that he was old, either. Within a couple of months legions began to refuse to swear allegiance to him. When he went out to punish the rebels (in a litter, he was so weak) he was killed. In his final moment he offered his neck, saying, "Strike, if it be for the good of the Romans!"

About 120 different people claimed credit for killing Galba, hoping to capitalize on his unpopularity. It backfired though; when the next emperor (Otho) was replaced by Vitellus, the 120-name list fell into his hands and he had every one of them executed.

Source: Wikipedia

December 31 | Commodus

August 31, 161 – December 31, 192: Age 31

"Not naturally wicked but, on the contrary, as guileless as any man that ever lived. His great simplicity, however, together with his cowardice, made him the slave of his companions, and it was through them that he at first, out of ignorance, missed the better life and then was led on into lustful and cruel habits, which soon became second nature." — Dio Cassius

Commodus was Emperor of Rome between the years 180 and 192 C.E. He was the son of Marcus Aurelius and, yes, he's the guy portrayed by Joachim Phoenix in Gladiator. Surprisingly, he was in real life almost as much of a bastard as Phoenix portrayed him to be.

His father was a sober, wise man who ruled during a difficult period in Rome's history. Commodus was not the first Roman emperor who inherited the title from his father, but he was the first to be "born to the purple", that is, born during his father's rule. Commodus was handsome, strong, athletic, but he was vain, impatient, cruel, and ultimately quite foolish. A shown in the movie, he really did like to fight gladiators in the Coliseum; he did it in the nude. He never lost, naturally, since the penalty for winning against the Emperor would be infinitely worse than being humbled by him in the ring. He was no coward: he also faced wild animals, incapable of faking submission — and he won. Publicly, he never killed his opponents, but privately he frequently did. He also charged the City of Rome a million sesterces for each appearance (to get a sense of the value, the average legionary was paid 1,200 sesterces per annum). His behaviour got even more eccentric: wounded soldiers would be placed in the arena for Commodus to kill with a sword. And people missing their feet due to accident or disease were taken to the arena where they were tethered together for Commodus to club to death while pretending they were giants.

There was more. He kept taking on new names, and when the number of his names reached 12 (Lucius Aelius Aurelius Commodus Augustus Herculeus Romanus Exsuperatorius Amazonius Invictus Felix Pius) he ordered that the 12 months of the year be renamed according to each of his names. So January became Lucius, etc. He also renamed Rome "Colonia Lucia Annia Commodiana", and renamed all kinds of institutions after himself too (for example, the Senate was renamed "Commodian Fortunate Senate", the legions were renamed "Commodianae", etc.).

It was all too much for his enemies, and the number of plots for his death increased. One group of conspirators, including his lover, Marcia, poisoned him on December 31, 192, but he vomited it all up again. They then sent a wrestler named Narcissus to Commodus in his bath to strangle him. This attempt succeeded. Upon his death the Senate immediate declared him a public enemy and changed the names of the months and the city and everything else back again.

Sources: Wikipedia, Roman Emperors

December 7 | Cicero

January 3, 106 BC - December 7, 43 BC: Age 63

"It is a great thing to know our vices."

Cicero was a lawyer, statesman, political theorist and philosopher in Rome during the heady times of Caesar and Mark Anthony. Anyone who has taken classical Latin in school has read excerpts, at least, from his essays, which are beautifully written and considered the pinnacle of Latin prose style of the era.

Cicero passionately believed in the ideal of the Roman Republic when Julius Caesar began to systematically accumulate power and dismantle the traditional forms of government in order to secure his position. Cicero opposed Caesar until it became clear that resistance was futile. At that point Caesar extended the hand of peace, inviting him to return to Rome (he had prudently withdrawn). Cicero was a respected politician and citizen and his support was valuable to Caesar. Cicero acquiesced, focusing his efforts on trying to persuade Caesar to revive the Republic and on protecting what little of it remained.

He did not fare so well under Mark Anthony. After Caesar's assasination in 44 BC, a brief period of instability brought Cicero much prominence and popularity as various factions competed for his favour. Mark Anthony rose to become the other leading man in Rome as consul, and a power struggle ensued: Cicero's eloquence and influence over Anthony's control over the armies.

The outcome was inevitable. Anthony's power grew, and his paranoia along with it. He began to draw up long lists of "enemies of the state" to be hunted and murdered by his soldiers. Cicero made the list as soon as he lost the favour of Octavian, Caesar's nephew and adopted son. He tried to take ship to Macedonia, but was caught leaving his villa in Formiae.

It is said that his last words were "there is nothing proper about what you are doing, soldier, but do try to kill me properly". They cut off his head, and later his head and hands were put on display in the Forum. Anthony's wife Fulvia is said to have taken his head, pulled out his tongue, and stabbed it repeatedly with a hairpin in rage.

Sources: Wikipedia

October 13 | The Emperor Claudius

August 1, 10 BC - October 13, 54: Age 64

Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus was the grandson of Mark Anthony and Octavia (Augustus Caesar's sister) on his mother's side, and of Livia (Augustus' third wife) on his father's side. His strong connections with the imperial family of Rome would have marked him for untimely death but for one thing: he was considered an idiot and a cripple.

Claudius had some kind of physical ailment — it may have been cerebral palsy, Tourette's syndrome, or polio — but there was nothing whatever wrong with his intellect. His knees were weak, his head shook, he stammered and slobbered when excited, and he had a peculiar voice. In materialistic Rome, beauty was thought to reflect inner virtue and intelligence, and physical defects reflected moral and intellectual lacks. This certainly saved Claudius from the many purges of eligible and well-connected males undertaken by Augustus, Tiberias, and Caligula and their allies. His own mother despised him, and made no secret of it. As a youngster his family hired a mule-driver to babysit him, on the assumption that his afflictions were the result of a stubborn and dull temperament.

But Claudius was by no means an idiot. In later life he admitted to having exaggerated his defects as the perfect disguise to defend himself; he could not, however, hide his intelligence from everyone: the historian Livy and the philosopher Athenodorus tutored him as a teenager. He undertook to write a history of the Civil Wars, and this nearly undid him: they were a bit too accurate. Fortunately his mother and his grandmother Livia saw the danger and put a stop to it. This incident presumably confirmed their assumption that he was unfit for public office.

Augustus died when Claudius was 24. The succeeding emperors, Tiberius (his uncle) and Caligula (his nephew), set about destroying every other male member of the imperial family in their purges — except Claudius. In 41, Caligula was assassinated, and the conspirators began to search Rome in order to kill members of the imperial family. Claudius took refuge in the palace, hiding behind some curtains, where a guard named Gratus found him and spirited him away to safety. After some debate, the Senate agreed to accept him as the new Emperor.

Then followed, contrary to nearly everyone's expectations, 13 years of sober and conscientious rule and a period of peace and expansion that must have been a great relief after the chaotic years of Caligula's mad rule. It would have been longer, but Claudius died, probably poisoned, in 54.

Accounts of the time agree that it was likely a dish of mushrooms that delivered the fatal dose. It is generally accepted that the instigator of the poisoning was his wife, Agrippina, whose son Nero was poised to succeed his stepfather. For several months before his death Claudius and Agrippina had argued a lot, and Claudius had been showing signs of raising his own 13-year-old son Britannicus to a status higher than that of Nero (in ancient Rome it was not uncommon for stepchildren to be favoured over natural children, particularly if there were residual bad feelings about the natural child's mother). To Agrippina and Nero, it was important that Claudius die before Britannicus grew any older.

Claudius was immediately deified by Nero. Seneca, an enemy whom Claudius had banished in 41, wrote the satire, Apocolocyntosis divi Claudii (The Pumpkinification of the Divine Claudius) a few months after his death ("apocolocyntosis" is a mangling of the word "apotheosis", meaning deification). Seneca writes of his last words as follows: "This was the last utterance of his to be heard among men, after he let out a sound from that part with which he found it easier to communicate, 'Oh I think I have shit myself.'" Seneca goes on to remark, "He certainly shat up everything else." On the whole, however, most of his contemporaries and virtually all historians judge Claudius to have been a popular and competent ruler.

Sources: Wikipedia, The Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine

September 28 | Pompey the Great

September 29, 106 BCE - September 28, 48 BCE: Age 57

Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus earned his "the Great" in many, many respects. He was a great general, an outstanding administrator, a compassionate man, a loving husband and father, and a loyal friend. However he happened to be a contemporary of somebody who was smarter, less scrupulous, and very ambitious: Caesar. They were for many years close friends; Pompey was even married to Caesar's daughter Julia. But the death of Julia took the last restraint off, and Caesar's ambition to rule Rome dragged the relationship into deadly enmity.

There were many traditional safeguards in Republican Rome against the rise of a tyrant; one of them was effectively smashed when Caesar illegally entered Rome with his own battle-hardened army. It was a clear declaration of Caesar's intention to hold absolute power. Pompey, who championed the Republican cause, fled to the East, intending to raise an army and retake the city. He never came close; in fact the rest of his life was spent between humiliating defeats and running away. It was an unequal contest, although it didn't seem so at a time. Pompey was an able general who lived his life based on traditional values; Caesar was a military genius with an eye to the future and an instinctive grasp of the social changes that were rocking Rome. After a final defeat at the Battle of Pharacelsus, Pompey fled with his family to Egypt, where his friendship with the previous Pharoah would, he felt confident, ensure him the protection of the young Ptolemy XIII.

Ptolemy was only 13 at the time. His counsellors advised him that the friendship of the powerful Caesar was more important than old ties to a vanquished man who had lost his army. Pompey was waiting in a ship offshore for Ptolemy's answer. It came in the form of two old comrades, Romans who had fought beside him in the old days, now serving the Egyptian government. They invited him ashore to meet with the Pharoah, but once in the small boat and away from Pompey's ship they stabbed him in the back. They then cut off his head, stripped his body, and took these things to the Pharoah, insultingly leaving the body naked and unattended on shore. (One of his servants managed to gather some timber and cremate him there.)

When presented with the head of his old friend and enemy, Caesar "turned away from him with loathing, as from an assassin; and when he received Pompey's signet ring on which was engraved a lion holding a sword in his paws, he burst into tears" (Plutarch, Life of Pompey 80). Ptolemy's advisers had misjudged the Roman sense of honour completely. Caesar demanded the assassins be executed, and had Pompey's head cremated with honour. Ptolemy was later deposed in favour of his sister, Cleopatra.

Sources: Wikipedia, The Life of Pompey